Stalkers.

I never thought I'd have one, but I have a stalker.
How this is possible, I have no frickin idea.

I replied to an email, and she wont leave me alone.
I like this girl though. She's giving me pretty damn good ideas for new torture chambers we can add to the list for renovations.

But she DID want me to go shoe shopping with her.
I will not go shoe shopping.
No matter how much I want those demon-red dress shoes. ooo, those are nice.
...
forget I said anything. That never happened.
Understand me?

She's a bit obsessive, and rude. Like me. And I quote "you just got yourself into a shitload of trouble by responding to me."



I dont know what she thinks she's doing.
But I can't help but like her.

This gal's got sass.
She even offered to help me keep up-ground if I ever get out.
Although that would involve shoe shopping.

Hmmm...
I'll consider it.

I need some wine.
Sometimes the drunken stupor is worth the wine's poor quality down here.
I don't get why Lucifer wont bring any from up-ground down here for us to enjoy.
That snot rag.

Have a Terribly Horrible Day,
~Apollyon

Dear Felicity

Oh, dear felicity.
You thought you had me caught up and guarded didn't you? You thought you had me stuck down in Gehenna, working on the paperwork.
But you were wrong.

I've been sneaking "upstairs".
Japanese Earthquake and nuclear meltdown? Yeah, that was me.
And you thought you had me all figured out.

Oh, and I'm taking some souls up with me.
We like having the parties up there, dancing around in the fire and such.

So you suck it, bro.

It's a Small, Small World

My brother is truly intolerable. During one of his little temper tantrums, he punched a hole in our kitchen wall. I think he was angry about some fashion model dumping him or something. Unfortunately, being Apollyon, he punched the wall between our kitchen and the “It’s a Small World” torture chamber. Now, any time I just want a simple snack, I have to listen to that horribly friendly song, playing over and over and over and over… I really am in Hell.


--A Very Pissed Off Lucifer