Here is an account of an interview I conducted between myself and Judas, the “Betrayer” in the whole crucifixion act. He is a personal friend of mine, and I wanted to make his position on the whole thing clear to the world.
o Lucifer: So Judas, how did it feel to get the privilege of assisting the great JC in his final performance for the world?
o Judas: Man, I’m just glad I didn’t have to do anything stupid like Peter, with that whole “denial” thing. Even he was a bit embarrassed about that. Also, it was nice to be able to finally acknowledge my true alliance, with you and Apollyon.
o L: So what you’re saying is that you were really on our side the whole time, sort of like a spy behind enemy lines?
o J: Yeah, although the way John wrote it in his gospel, he makes it sound like Jesus ordered me to go play my part, and suddenly I was on your side.
o L: But that’s not really how it happened?
o J: No, I was definitely waiting for my chance to betray him all the time. I found a few other nice opportunities, but when he told me to go off, I knew I was busted, and I figured that would be the best time out of any to betray him anyways, so I went ahead and did it.
o L: Do you think any of the other disciples knew you were not on their side before the final dinner?
o J: Hah, no way. They were all too goody-two-shoes to imagine that one of their own was a bad apple. Jesus figured it out, of course, but he took his own sweet time about it. What was really funny was that even when JC pointed me out during the dinner by giving me the “dipped morsel,” the other disciples still didn’t get it! They just sat around looking confused.
o L: That’s hilarious! Well, thanks for sharing your side of the story. You are helping a great cause, fighting the war of attrition on the side of the devil.
o J: It’s been my pleasure.